Wasted years’ syndrome occurs for many reasons. Someone regrets that in the student years devoted little time to knowledge, someone regrets that spent so many years in an unloved office, and someone regrets that the years of marriage burnt off. Is this normal? This is a logical human reaction! But this does not mean at all that this syndrome should accompany you for many years. In this case, this is far from normal, and something needs to be done.
All people who face a breakdown in a relationship or marriage are at risk of becoming a prisoner of such a syndrome. It is certainly annoyingly when you lived with one person so much time, and now only memories remain from this life. What to do? Should you immerse yourself in the syndrome of wasted years or begin to actively get out of this state and open up to new opportunities? Of course, let’s talk about the last option.
Tips to Recover from a Divorce
A nostalgic condition that lasts for months should be eliminated. And this is the first thing you need to start with. It is certainly difficult to start living when your life is no longer the same.
But what if you look at it from the other side and convert negative emotions into positive ones? Yes, it will take time, but if you do not do this, you have a risk of becoming depressed. Let’s look at 3 steps to help you start your life in a new way.
Looking for Positive
As mentioned above, you need to wrap your divorce in such a way as to find profit in it. This will seem impossible to many, but this is far from reality. It’s possible to do it! Consider the following questions:
- What favorite thing did you have to give up when creating a family?
- What can you do now that you could not do during the marriage?
- What have you been dreaming about for so long, but there was no way to put it into reality?
Think about these questions. Perhaps the universe has given you the opportunity to realize what you could not during your married life. Who knows, maybe you were destined to meet a completely different person who will make your life happy.
Switch Your Attention from Divorce
Now that you have become “free”, you need to learn how to switch your attention and work on a new life, rather than living in the past. Permanent memories will undermine your emotional state. You need to concentrate on something else.
How about a new hobby? Why not consider new sports and change your lifestyle? Now you are experiencing the stage in life when you have the opportunity to try something new.
What about a journey where you need to start communication with new people? By the way, changing the circle of friends is exactly what you need after a divorce. New people will not remind you of a divorce or your spouse. You will be like a blank sheet for them and you have the opportunity to become a new person for such people. And at the same time discover the new self!
All Own Attention to Children? Not!
So, if you have children, this does not mean that now you need to devote your whole life only to them and to no one else. Do you know why? Because children will grow up and leave you to create their families and build their happiness. But letting go of children can be much more difficult than a spouse.
Such dedication is very dangerous for both you and the children. Remember situations when adult men 30-45 years old live with their mothers and so are not realized in the family context? Do not you want to make your child lose happiness? Most likely not.
Or let’s recall situations where children already have their own families, but the parent constantly intervenes in family and creates situations like a capricious child. It’s about the situation when the child has to spend all the time with his parent. Will this not affect the marriage life of a child? Unfortunately, this can lead to the above situation.
To prevent this from happening, you should not be fanatical about raising children. Otherwise, there is a risk that not only you will get another psychological trauma but will grant to also to your child.
How to Prepare for a Divorce
If you are just starting your journey in divorce proceedings, then there are several recommendations that will help prepare you for further recovery after a divorce.
Consider filling out forms for divorce in online mode. This will save both your time and your nerves. In special companies, you will receive help with divorce court forms. Moreover, you will get the full divorce packet, and this will help you to get a quick divorce.
Take care of the emotional state of your children. Think about professional psychological help.
Be in the current moment, and not in a constant presence in the past or future. Otherwise, you will not be able to make rational decisions.
Take time for yourself, your health, and do not devote 24 hours a day to a divorce. The more you think about divorce, the harder it will be for you to recover when it’s over.
Attend training on self-development, there you can learn not only a lot of new things but also will be distracted from divorce. Moreover, such training can give you new ideas on what and how to do in the future.
Divorce can be an exhausting process, but that doesn’t mean that you need to stay in that state all the time. Remember that no one but yourself can change your life. The end of a relationship is not the end of life, but the beginning of new opportunities and a new life. But the way your new life will look like is 100% in your hands. Therefore, follow the recommendations given above and get rid of the syndrome of lost years as soon as possible.